i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
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