her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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