We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
