they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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