so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
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