so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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