Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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