I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
