Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Randomize
