I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
