i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
