oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
