I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
She told me I should be a condom model.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
