thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
