.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
