I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
