pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Four minutes until I can fart!
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
