I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
