yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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