Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
