I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize