good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize