i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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