My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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