Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
