i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
