Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
