I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
