fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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