Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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