Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
