I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
