i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
