I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
