He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
