Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
