it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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