Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
