Pappa wants mamma naked
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
