I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
