What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
