census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
