great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
It's like God shit irony all over that family
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Randomize
