You work out of a Hotel?
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
