doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
