week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
this hospital has no fireball
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize