Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
