Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize