Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
