i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I could fuck to npr.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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