Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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