Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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