this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize