i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
