I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
