my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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