I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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