I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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