And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
