Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
