You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
